Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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