question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
