Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
We left the knife in your bed.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
