fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I intend to get homeless drunk
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
