This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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