I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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