I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
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