Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
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