Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
