Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
