Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
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Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
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Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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