Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
They took my balls.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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