Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Randomize
