i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize