I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
