her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
