I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
