Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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