i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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