i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Randomize
