Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
