You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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