I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
