I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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