Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
This is classic penis vs brain.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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