so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
