I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize
