"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
ttyl tear gas
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We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
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2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
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