Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
