do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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