wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
