I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
