Buhtt sex?
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
