Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
