I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
