Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Randomize
