ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
