Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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