were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Randomize
