you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
