clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I'm bleeding and have questions
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize