Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
