dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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