before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
