so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
