So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize
