sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I think I just sharted jello shots
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
