i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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