bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I love you.
Bad choice
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