Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
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