I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
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