He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
