He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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