i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
