So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
