So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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