Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
