I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize