i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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